Pokemon Go

No big deal, but... I finally filled out my Pokedex (as much as I can currently, anyways).

For the last 4 months I've been playing Pokemon Go working slowly to "catch 'em all". I even got my best friend to play with me, which is a big deal because when the game first came out she thought it sounded stupid. I found out a couple weeks after I told her about it that she not only had been playing but had passed me up in rank (she was a level 10 and at the time I was only 8). Since then, we've both leveled up significantly.

Tonight I finally caught as many Pokemon as were currently available in the U.S.

144-146, 151 and 152 are Articuno, Zapados, Moltres, Mewtwo and Mew, respectively. They aren't even available in the game yet, so I can't get them yet. 83 is Farfetch'd, available only in Asia; 115 is Kangaskhan, available only in Austraila; and 122 is Mr. Mime, available only in Europe.

So, for a guy stuck in the U.S. this is as far as I can go... for now.

Hopefully gen 2 will be released soon, so I can begin all over again.

Quiet

So... I recently stumbled upon a song that I have continued to listen to, repeatedly. I have a subscription to Spotify, you see, and every week Spotify generates a playlist of new music for me to listen to based on what I spend most of my time listening to (mostly in my car on the way to or from work).

Anyhow, I listened to this song called Quiet by Lights and at first I was like "okay, this is catchy". But the more I listen to it, the more I am intrigued by it. It has an upbeat fun tune and I feel happier after listening to it.





I looked up the meaning of the song and found several interpretations. I decided that the statement below resonated with me best. It sums up perfectly how I feel when I listen to the song.

"I think the meaning to the lyrics are about denying feelings for someone who may possibly be denying feelings for you, but you really don't know...all you really do know is that you're into that person and feel a belonging with them, even if all you're doing is just being in their company...being 'quiet' with one another. quiet could also be about the secrets and everything, of how you feel about the person."

Someday, hopefully, I'll be able to find that person. And I hope when that day comes that neither one of us is afraid to admit our feelings for each other.


I hope you enjoy it as much as I do :)

Mr. Robot

I recently began watching a show that I heard about on NPR one day. It's a show called Mr. Robot, and it's actually pretty cool!

It has a kind dark vibe to it but it was thoroughly entertaining. The music is interesting too; it reminded of the music from Portal 2 when I first heard it. Take a listen below.







This is just one song from Portal 2. They obviously have their differences but I think they both carry a similar style of tune. There are lots of other songs from Portal 2, and if you've listened to the full soundtrack you might agree with me that the themes of the game are similar to this song at least.

Mr. Robot is interesting because you start out looking at the story from one direction, then it flips around and you seem to be watching the show from a complete opposite direction. There's a lot of anarchical themes throughout the show, and deals a lot with programming. I don't know much (or anything...) about programming personally but it is all still very entertaining.

The main character, Elliot, is played by actor Rami Malek. His role in the show won him an Emmy for Outstanding Lead Actor In A Drama Series.

It's definitely worth watching!

After all these years...

I had forgotten that I even had a blog up until tonight. Normally I wouldn't put my feelings out in public but after years and years of recording my life in my personal journal, I feel like I just need to put my mind out there. I doubt many people will read this but I still put it out there just the same.

Things have been hard lately.

I have a hard time summing my feelings up in words, but I'll do the best I can.

I gravitate between rage and sorrow on a daily basis, unsure how to handle myself. My sister recently called me a walking contradiction and that statement struck me hard. You see I have a really hard time trying to find a sense of stability in my life. I seem to jump from one feeling to the next in a fleeting moment.

I was in love once. I thought we would spend our lives together, but I was delusional. We were never on the same page, and I was always trying to push things. I thought if I tried hard enough I could make you love me. But the whole thing broke me. Now I submit to a daily regimen of antidepressants and the heartbreaking memory of what was. I think about when we held each other and I clung to the possibility of never ending happiness. Then, I wouldn't have believed that I would eventually spend my personal time alone, watching sad movies and crying as Rose says "I'll never let you go, Jack."  No amount of music in the world can fill the hole that was left. I have literally lost a part of myself since you were in my life.

I have an extensive list of songs I listen to when I get like this, and below is a sampling of some of those songs. There are two categories of songs that are included; the sad songs and the rage songs. I tend to go back and forth between both feelings rather frequently.


The one side:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=csw3zdqRuOU
-My Everything

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tuxwisuHJ7U
-Colorblind

https://youtu.be/KQu8FOjJXdI?t=1m32s
-I Love You

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8wKU-jaus6w
-Manhattan

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=feZ3acHNxXg
-The Harold Song

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NJWIbIe0N90
-Who Knew

https://youtu.be/tFEkErGUjCU?t=10s
- On My Own

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eM213aMKTHg
- Need You Now

https://youtu.be/Ahha3Cqe_fk?t=20s
- The One That Got Away

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l38MAcuDblk
- Over For Good

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nabO_UXb6MM
- A Fond Farewell

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sxaq2Hn3U_k
- God Knows I Tried

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HPam_3D9eXU
- Hello (Evanescence, not Adele)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ho9xM9n2USA
- No Good In Goodbye

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o_1aF54DO60
- Young and Beautiful
         - Mostly this one just breaks my heart every time I hear it, and reminds me how tragic life is.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JBrLgmjkeuQ
- Bumper Cars



The other side of it:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_RrA-R5VHQs
- Call Me When You're Sober (Specifically at 2:20. I feel like this sums the whole thing up perfectly)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T4tefnQGtNY
- Hell No

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I_NPCEeyrmg
- Love Into the Light

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OUe3oVlxLSA
- Gonna Get Over You

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6bAPlojfgO0
- Pity Party
         - Melanie Martinez is a badass bitch, and I love her music.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b7esfC0bDVU
- So I Dance

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s8QYxmpuyxg
- My Happy Ending

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H5ArpRWcGe0
- Dark Side

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cVLF0G3v_0U
- Where Do We Go

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wvzfOyW0ZMo&feature=youtu.be&t=1m31s
- Take Me Home

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jZhQOvvV45w
- Good Life

https://youtu.be/X9YMU0WeBwU?t=47s
-Yoü and I

Someday I hope to find more stability and peace. For now, I have my cats to keep me company.